I need an outlet. To express who I am and what I'm feeling. I'm a some what blunt person, I tell you what's on my mind and I'm surrounded by people who are too weak to just understand that's how I'm feeling. It's not meant to hurt you, it's just how I feel about it. And I like to talk. But many people get lost just after 5 words are spoken and they give up listening. I need a best friend, and then as soon as I say that, I'm reminded that God is my best friend. Always has been, and will continue to be, the one that is always there, ready to listen. And I'm constantly reminded that I'm not perfect, as a parent, a wife, a friend. I need His help and guidance daily. I expect too much of people, I expect that if you say you're going to do something, you follow through with it. I try hard to do that for others, but God knows we aren't perfect. He wants us to be perfect; He is right there to pick us up again when we are not. I need to remember this as I hold others to high standards. I don't do well with disappointment. I often see the negative when things don't work out.
So this will be my outlet. Writing. Hopefully to keep me more focused on the good things in my life, the daily small mountains we climb and successfully reach the top. I don't want to be a negative person. I want to be the person people come to for wisdom about situations, how to handle things, quiet and reserved, with a little bit of mystery as to what is really going on inside my head. I don't want all my words to hurt feelings. I want to be like characters from my favorite books.
I have a whole list of dreams that I'd like to accomplish before I die. Many things I want to see. And I'm excited to see how God decides to unfold my future.
